Spiritual Discipline

We will never get anywhere in life without discipline, be it the arts, the trades, business, athletics, or academics. … therefore, as children of grace, discipline is everything – everything!

Disciplines of a Godly Man, by R. Kent Hughes

OK, before we get off on the wrong foot here…much of what is offered in this book applies equally to Christian men and women. The intended audience obviously is male, and the author views the roles of male and female as complimentary (as do I). Yet, a look at the major sections of the book (sections on relationships, soul, character, and ministry) reveal that much of it will be applicable to all.

Further, women: this review will offer an idea of just what to look for in a man if you are after a godly, disciplined husband – applicable both to those married and those not yet married. Still, I will often write neutrally when I believe the counsel is applicable to either men or women.

I began this blog, My Christian Journey, one year ago. My intent was to grow – in my understanding of a Christian life, in my understanding of theology, in my understanding of theological history. But my objective is not merely to learn it, but to live it – to live life as intended for a Christian.

This, no doubt, takes discipline. And it is for this reason that I looked for a book on submission and obedience. What came recommended to me was this book. You will see, even beginning with this post, that this book will take me on a path I didn’t think I would be writing about at this blog (or any other). But I do not want to shortchange the message of the author, nor do I want to presuppose what will speak to me (I learn much more by reading and writing than by reading alone) or to any of you.

Hughes opens with examples of discipline in sports, looking at athletes such as Mike Singletary, David Beckham, Wayne Gretzky, and Jack Nicklaus. Then authors and artists: Ernest Hemingway, Michelangelo, the violinist Jascha Heifitz. Each spent hours daily honing their skill. These men were disciplined; if they were not, we would never have come to know any of them (well, I have never before heard of this violinist, but you get the idea).

The apostle Paul writes of the necessity of spiritual discipline:

1 Timothy 4: 7(b) …exercise yourself toward godliness. 8 For bodily exercise profits a little, but godliness is profitable for all things, having promise of the life that now is and of that which is to come.

Call it exercise sufficient for spiritual sweat. To train for godliness requires directing all of our energy toward the goal of godliness. Intense toil, strenuous work; even agonizing at times. Go back and look at the list of examples from sports and arts – do you think they arrived at such heights via casual workouts?

Spiritual discipline for the Christian does not mean legalism – putting oneself under the law. The motivation is not a self-centered legalism, but a God-centered discipline.

The legalist heart says, “I will do this thing to gain merit with God.” The disciplined heart says, “I will do this thing because I love God and want to please him.”

Hughes opens with the discipline of purity. He offers startling statistics on adultery found in American pastors and their congregations.

The contemporary evangelical church is “Corinthian” to the core.

We see such an example even in King David – a man after God’s heart.

Desensitization comes from much of the culture around us – movies, music, advertisements, etc. For some, this leads to a fixation – I want what I see on the screen. We rationalize from here – I deserve it, I am successful, life at home isn’t so great, etc. Go far enough down this road, and adultery and lies will follow. In David’s case, this led to murder.

None of this belongs to the disciplined Christian. There are countless verses about sexual purity. Jesus goes the farthest: to even look at another with lust is adultery. In other words, the first step of desensitization is problematic for the Christian.

How to maintain this discipline of purity? Find someone who will hold you accountable; regular prayer; take care of the mind – what you see on television or the internet, what you read, what you listen to.

Job 31: 1 “I have made a covenant with my eyes; Why then should I look upon a young woman?”

Just as Jesus taught.

Proverbs 6: 27 Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?

Playing with fire: the results are always harmful. Place boundaries around your life: who you spend time with at the office; when dining for work, always include multiple people – a third person is always a good idea when the dinner is with someone of the opposite sex.

Finally, always be aware. Joseph was aware when dealing with the temptations of Potiphar’s wife. He fled, knowing that the alternative would be a sin against God.

Hughes next looks to marriage: a bonding where two become one – two people who are as much the same person as two people can be: the husband is one flesh with his wife, and also the other way around.

Ephesians 5: 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her

This is a call to sacrifice, even unto death. Now, many men accept this responsibility when considering physical danger: I will die to defend my wife. But Hughes offers that it is something much more than this:

…marital love is like death – it wants all of us. … If you do not understand this, you do not know what marital love is. It claims everything.

Scary…and heavy, but a lived example of what is necessary if one is to walk the Christian life: an experience of the grace of death to self. It is not a gallows death: it is this same death that we are called to in our walk with Christ: Christ wants all of us. Toward marriage, we must feel the same.

…a man who does not die for his wife does not come close to the love to which he is called.

This doesn’t mean men are to be doormats. We die to self toward Christ; Christ doesn’t treat us as a doormat.

We live with our wife’s suffering; we intercede for her in prayer – not just general, but in very specific ways. Proper marriage clears rooms of selfishness within us – a necessary attribute for the Christian in any case. Is there any more certain example of how to properly live the Christian life than that offered in marriage? Lose selfishness, love your neighbor, and, at times, love your enemy! It’s all right here.

Marriage reveals all weaknesses – both in the husband and in the wife. We do not love our spouse because he / she is a saint; we love, even though he / she is a sinner. You know, the way that Christ loves us: even when we were sinners, He died for us.

All of this begins with loving God properly – the greatest commandment. Then, do we properly love ourselves? Paul writes in Ephesians that husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. This isn’t a selfish love; it is a love that offers ourselves to Christ. When we love ourselves in this way, we are then able to properly love our spouse.

We are to devote the same energy, time, and creativity to our wives as to ourselves.

Commitment: to love, despite how you feel.

Fidelity: to be ever faithful.

Communication: set aside time to talk. Most importantly, practice listening.

Elevation: a commitment to build up your wife, complimenting her for all the good things she brings to the marriage and family.

Deference: forego a planned pleasure like golf, and take a trip to the department store or plant nursery with your wife instead.

Conclusion

As mentioned, this book (and even this post) covers ground that I didn’t intend for this blog to cover. But the author begins here – with purity and marriage – so I have as well.