O Wretched Man That I Am
There you have the words of a man who has come to the end of himself.
Absolute Surrender, Andrew Murray
These words were written by the apostle Paul, found at the end of the seventh chapter of Romans. What follows immediately, in chapter eight (and, keeping in mind, Paul did not write in chapters), are sixteen verses that mention the Holy Spirit sixteen times. For example:
… who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. …those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. …to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace. …
Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.
It is a description of the life that one can have if one lives in the power of the Spirit. But, first, it began with the recognition: what a wretched man I am. It is a life in bondage, it is not a life of Christian liberty. The words describe a man who is regenerate, impotent, and wretched, yet on the border of seeing that liberty.
These are all described by the apostle Paul in chapter seven and leading up to this recognition; it is summarized by Murray:
The Regenerate Man: This man sees that it is the sin in him; he sees this because he has become aware of this. Sin is a power in him. Further, he now sees delight in the law of the Lord, and wishes this for his inward man.
As Lloyd-Jones offers: we need to understand sin, and mot merely our sins. Sin is in us; our sins are merely individual expressions of the sin in us.
The Impotent Man: A renewed will is not enough. The regenerate man has the will, but not the power to perform in accord with his will. He is impotent.
The will of the creature is nothing but an empty vessel in which the power of God is to be made manifest. … God’s work is to work in us both to will and to do of His good pleasure.
Nowhere in this leadup to this recognition does the apostle Paul mention the Holy Spirit or Christ. This is a man wrestling and struggling to fulfill God’s law; the law is mentioned here twenty times. The words I, me, and my, occur several dozen times. Here, Paul demonstrates man’s impotence – a man who is regenerate yet totally helpless.
The Wretched Man: this is a man who finds himself unhappy and miserable, as he has tried everything in his power and continues to fail. But it cannot end here, as if recognizing our wretchedness offers us a pass.
Instead, whenever we offer a sharp word, lose our temper, sin in any way, it can be a reminder of our wretchedness, and a reminder that we cannot perform the change ourselves. To be born again requires someone to birth us, if you will.
…when once every sin gives new intensity to the sense of wretchedness, and we feel our whole state as one of not only helplessness, but actual exceeding sinfulness…
Only then can we ask: who shall deliver us? And only then will we recognize that it is only God through Christ and the Holy Spirit. And here, one has come to the border of seeing the liberty in Christ. From the second verse of chapter eight:
For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
Yes, the regenerate man had the Spirit. But he had not yet grown into fully understanding all that the Spirit could do for him. We must first fully see how broken we are, and how impossible it is for us to change by our own will. It is only then, through the Holy Spirit, that we have the power to be obedient.
The power to do is not a permanent gift, but must be each moment received from the Holy Spirit.
Conclusion
It is only by and through the Spirit that we can lead a holy life. It is only through the Spirit that we can achieve such a victory.
There is deliverance, there is the liberty of the Holy Spirit. …the work of the Holy Spirit is to enable you every moment to remember Jesus, and to trust Him!
Epilogue
What good does it do that we go to church or attend conventions, that we study our Bibles and pray, unless our lives are filled with the Holy Spirit?
It isn’t enough to know; one must live, one must do. I have come to a view, which I have offered in various ways during my writing, that many (not all) of the inter-Christian doctrinal debates are secondary to living the Christian life. Perhaps these debates are the means (or offer us the excuse) by which we avoid living such a Christian life – especially as we view the other (heretical) Christian on the other side of the debate.
"Perhaps these debates are the means (or offer us the excuse) by which we avoid living such a Christian life – especially as we view the other (heretical) Christian on the other side of the debate."
Not only inter-Christian debates, but also the numberless, endless conversations we have with each other which are tightly controlled to ensure that we can personally avoid living the Christian life, especially as we point out the ways in which those opposed to us are not living their own "Christian" life.
What hypocrites we are. Modern-day Christianity is a facade, a false-front, a mask which we hide behind and use to justify our INACTION relative to bringing our own world into the parameters of and under the control of the Kingdom of Christ. To use the worn-out metaphor, it is a bandage applied to a hemorrhage and just as useless. It is a lie which we use so we do not have to look at ourselves, identify our own failings, and take necessary steps to correct them.
I am as guilty of this as anyone else, everyone else. As I grow continually closer to my departure from this world, it becomes more evident to me that I need to focus on the sin (singular) and stop covering for the sins (plural) which are so manifold in my own life. At the end of the day, I can (and do) imagine standing before God and hearing the question, "Why should I allow you into Heaven?". I have my doubts that the trite statement that I "trusted" Jesus to save me once, a long time ago, after I walked down the sawdust trail at a camp "revival" meeting, will be sufficient to allow passage.
It is so easy to point the finger at someone else. "O, wretched person that you are", and often it makes us feel better...for a few minutes at least. Yet, when the self-righteous euphoria wears off, we are still there and the SIN is still staring us in the face. Our own face. My own face.
God, be merciful to me, a sinner.
"inter-Christian doctrinal debates are secondary to living the Christian life."
I agree with you here. There's no way that I could believe that my saintly grandmother (who was a Methodist) met Jesus when she passed at age 100 and would have heard Him say, "I did not know you, because you did not pick the one Christian denomination that I approve." She lived the life, and was much more worthy than I will ever be of the Kingdom.
Still, being a Catholic I pray for her soul as often as I can remember, at least every Sunday at Mass, along with all the others I've lost, not out of a sense of superiority, but just in case it helps in some small way.